Hello,
I've never even considered writing a word about what I know sounds paranoid delusional and baseless! But I realize the very unique situation T.I.s are in and when i read post after post I felt less n less entombed! Thank you everyone. Now I'll start with the honesty which can be more bad than good! Well I must be open and willing to show who what I really am.!I am a 48 yr. Old ex con drug addict which is a hell in of itself.. But here's what changed my entire life from the mean deadly streets of southeast San Diego ca. I've been through wars that were just as deadly as our current one..I suffer from PTSD among others but that one is its own beast..for me..I'm not aware when I decided to get help with my hellish view on life..I am a fear based person from the start..this I am no longer ashamed of I am hypersensitive without the cowards that systematically continue to take everything I hold dear from me..so I moved to a new place in the high desert right outside Los angles ca. In a few months I was in love living with my friend from high school! Oh just getting out of a decade long marriage when my wife said she was going to the store and came back month later! With a young man telling me I need to leave because I made this kid nervous! Lol so I don't really like cells I left thee next day. I had not seen my friend in almost 3 decades and I woke up as we were turning on to her street! My first thought was we were in Iraq burned down houses and streets oozing tension nothing new but this was a feeling that no place I've been gave me! Not even the yard..I saw my friend who I really didn't know at all and felt easier! Well I was in another dimension about fifteen men and women dropped by to literally see me as an exhibit! I knew most were thugs and predator types. That was fine but I started feeling the old feeling PTSD gives the body n mind. I was gonna get set up and have to leave my mark. Now I'm in my late 40s playing this street game in my head with young thugs..I was very closely watched and even asked where and why I did time..among other stuff right off the yard! Odd I thought..I just did the respect everyone gig! Everyone had gone and I was given a crash course in adelanto 101! Weird was not what became of my life! Only someone who's been through the target hell can even remotely get it! About three months into the crazy life I'm comfortable in. Something just wasn't right..little things that to me were outta place coincidence one after another! What was really going on just ate at me. I pointed out to my girl that on my way to the drs office 93 white cars with headlights on were all around the transportation van I was in. Now my alarms went nuts like I was public enemy no. One in an instant! From there what's been done to !me is again absolutely adssanign when I hear myself tell it..things became surrealistic! Music I played was being played at the gas station I was headed to in white cars? It dawned on me that I was on my spotify account and the exact thing playing in my earphone's was being played by strangers in white cars...the feeling was undescribably evil and anxiety that almost dropped me..the old danish fighter came alive And I start confronting people that are just laughing and telling me that I needed to leave or the cops would be there quick. I realised that I did sound bat shit nuts. I was beat like never before they knew the game on and fun had begun for them I was a sec away from mental collapse! I know you can figure where I'm at now after over a year without a soul to talk to or trust drugs started to become my only hope at a full breath.. For the record if you reading this has a drug problem it has to be stopped or at the least put off for now..self destruction and the cowards inc. Together will destroy anyone in short order! They will use that to manipulate every thought you have!!I've just not been able to wrap my head around the size of this stasi! Its mind numbing
Everyone from my shrink to amazon to ups and on ad indfinitum! Fast forward today! Everything I say do intimate embarrassing everything is being watched! I can't understand why I'm targeted other than being a drug addict! I am not using drugs as much as I want to because bad goes to worse it seems! Now knowing that my every movement is really being observed then having gang members and dealers talking about stuff you don't discuss flowing crime after crime. I can't explain it to them that they are being watched without being called paraNoid and worsre. Now everything that they see and I know they see because of the passing comments confirm it. Well sensitization is a art that evil built! I now am very much in my own control! Had to surrender or explode I don't measn to them but to the whole act! I am powerless over that much evil! But I refuse to Live scared and under they're control! Not to say fear doesCounterck me here and there but I got things that help ive Read! Counter surveillance that makes things real bad at first because they think they are the only thing on earth allowed to torture and murder! Well its a gamble but everything I've ever done is life threatening or close to it. Now I am still fighting this battle alone...Well in my town anyway! To anyone who runs they're mouths saying drug addict piece of shit
Paranoid schitzo! FUCK YOU YOUR EITHER ONE OF THE COWARD CREW OR A LIP DRIPPIN SAD SACK OF USELESSNESS! Walk a yard in our shoes soul worn out from trying to escape the shit you can't explain to you let alone another! My life has been taken and they ain't done til I am in the dirt! Bring on the crew that finishes the little play! I was crazy b4 you were a member of the no heart club! Coward crew! Followers flock or the bully bitchs! I will die standing in battle never kneeling in front of my captors I'm not afraid of death never really have been. And my mind is time tested can't be molested will digest all the hurt I've caused and ingested. Know I'm gonna be tried before I'm arrested! The STASI are bigger than anyone knows but I'll throw blows full of life but it never shows am colder than the artic after it snows and a support group that I will make sure doesn't fade my faith in people grows and grows! I know that's a book of babble but I've Never vented! Fear ruled my every thought! Never again if its my time I'm gonna get got! I'm adelantos public enemy no. 1 my
